Go Take a Flying.....

35,000 feet in the air and I'm still shaking my head over the sheer idiocy of it. Atlanta airport sees thousands of young soldiers headed out or returning from duty. I feel an emotional sense of gratitude toward each of these mostly young men, and I look for an opening to simply say thanks. If I am at a food kiosk, I.ll pay for a coke or cup of coffee for these brave heroes.

They are dressed in fatigues, and carrying heavy backpacks. I note that today's fatigues are designed for desert camouflage, in lighter muted colors than the dark greens of yesteryear, because the battle has shifted from the tropical rain-forests to the mountainous deserts in much more forbidding places on the planet.

These kids, headed off to protect my family and yours have committed their very lives to military service, and there.s a real possibility that some will not return home. Yet, the TSA in its infinite wisdom, has these men standing in the same long lines as the rest of us waiting to strip down for security.

I marvel at the fact that of the six working screening lines, they haven't set aside at least one exclusively for these heros. Instead, they wait like the rest of us idiots to remove their combat boots, open their laptops and place all of their items in plastic trays.

As a TSA worker wheels a giant cart of trays over, I briefly think about the windfall profit to the company that makes these battleship grey trays, and imagine the day the owner who previously shipped 100 a day to local diners across the country, received the government contract for 10 million needed immediately.

After this bizarre thought, I catch the eye of the soldier in line ahead of me and I say, "This is unbelievable! You guys should have your own line, to walk right through. And Thank you. Thanks fior your service."

He thanks me back, and I stop myself from saying what I'm thinking. "I hope this pisses you off a little and you take that with you to the battlefield." I.m angry now, as I watch a line of seven soliders disrobing and undergoing the indignity. Its an unfunny joke.

"Personally," I say getting his attention again. Id like to see all of you walk through fully armed."

He laughs.

Two muslim woman with their headresses are walking through the metal detector, and are alolowed to pass quickly. Nobody has checked to see if they have hidden anything in their scarfs, which could certainly hold more explosives that that shmuck in his underwear,

If these guys have to unlace their heavy boots, these woman should have to remove their scarfs. Apparent;ly some bitch will have to bring down a plane before homeland security gets as smart as me,.

Theres an old jewish man being hand screened. He has his arms in the air and they are waving a wand all over him, while his wheelchair bound wife waits. She;ll be next. I have yet to hear of an old Jewish couple terrorist team. They are both much more thoroughly screened than the two Muslim woman who choose to follow a religion that commands them to kill the infidel wherever and however they can.

As far as I am concerned, their clothing choice denotes their support. PLEASE! Leave Mr. Rosenberg alone and double check the Burkas please.



Christian is excited to have me back, and he's my new best friend as I walk him to the potty at The Office, a restaurant in Ridgewood, NJ. He's proudly wearing my security badge around his neck. It is dangling down to his pecker, so that when he pulls his pants down, he pees right into it, and it splashes back all over himself.

He finds this funny.

This is before he knocked a newly poured 16 ounce glass of ice water onto my lap, and before Karina, so over come with laughter, spits her huge mouthful of chocolate milk into my face.

It's good to be back from Atlanta, This is exactly what those brave kids are fighting for. Give them their own line!